Delayed But Not Denied
Thinking back to my childhood, I have done fairly well with my vision exams. That competitive spirit kicked in with the results of a 20/20 vision. YES! You know you’ve either felt it or witnessed it. Whether you wear visual aids or not, this year has rocked the vision of a multitude. It has also led people to overly anticipate a “magical” shift once the presidential election results roll in and the clock strikes midnight on January 1, 2021. If you have been swayed by either, I have a few questions for you:
What have you been doing to perfect your vision this year?
What will you do when those results (election, job performance, job application, etc) are imperfect?
Who and what are you looking to as your guide?
When I resigned pre-pandemic, only God knew what lied ahead. In addition to being a newlywed and stepping into the unknown, it seems like the world was imploding around me. The external began to impact my internal processing. So you know what I did? I prayed, I practiced and I pondered. I want to share more about the results of my pondering.
I pondered:
How am I/How are we going to survive?
What’s next for me?
Do I return from where I was or move forward?
The questions were on repeat for a good month. They led to bouts of anxiety and stress. Much like what a good number of you are feeling right now. The “uncertainty” can illicit FOMO (fear of missing out) so you’re scrolling on the social media feeds for the latest update or insight from the “experts”. It can also spawn complete thought paralysis and inaction. Those are all valid responses and I experienced both. During this waiting period, I received multiple rejections. Through it, I have gained a buoyancy that I didn’t know existed. I was denied opportunities that I know I was qualified for and given the standard “we thank you for expressing your interest/applying”. In the beginning there was slight bruising because of the coupling of everything at stake (personal, professional, global). I took this leap and now denial was fueling doubt. In my stillness and in prayer it clicked: this is a delay but you are not denied.
In this moment, it can be easy to lean in to the noise and lose sight of “you”. Again, this year has been testing and there are more tests ahead. So again I ask:
What have you been doing to perfect your vision?
What will you do when those results (election, job performance, job application, etc) are imperfect?
Who and what are you looking to as your guide?
I know what I have been promised. No “weapon” formed shall prosper.
Forward In Faith,